Weed is super easy to find anywhere on the planet, any time, thanks to darkweb marketplaces.
I am a raging addict, have been for over a decade now, and I just get small parcels delivered to wherever I’m going to be if I’m away from home. Cambodia, Oman, Finland, wherever, it’s trivial.
Honestly, I wish it weren’t so easy. Then it would be easy to quit, which I would sincerely like to do - but as long as I can punch a few buttons and have weed appear I am well and truly trapped in my little Skinner box.
Hey friend I was in this situation until recently. A decade of trying to stop smoking and drinking wore me down and I’d given up trying. As long as I could get it, I would.
Im sure you are familiar with the seductive compulsion that results in the daily cycle... that feeling that more is always better and yes of course you want some right now even though it’s probably not a good idea and oh whoops I’m high/buzzed already so might as well keep going.
I’m happy to say that feeling is now completely gone. Eradicated like it never existed. I still enjoy the experience just the same, but “that feeling” of, idk, thirst-like need I guess? That became suddenly and totally absent.
What worked for me was my first experience with Psilocybin. I was surprised, likeI said I’d given up trying to quit but was always thinking about it.
I did not take enough to have noticeable visual effects. The experience was more like an extremely lucid drunk. It comes in waves, and each wave took me out of my own perspective long enough for some real talk with myself. Identifying the Skinner box was part of it: seeing myself wanting and responding like a rat. Seeing with new clarity what it really does to me, not how I view it internally though the filter of my self-deluding stories.
All this to say, I hope you can find what I found; the ‘grass’ really is greener on the other side of addiction. I’ve smoked and drank since then without relapse—no continued use after the social event, and no desire to. Good luck internet stranger, my heart is with you and there is hope.
Add custody battle, that made me quit instantly after 25 years of daily weed smoking. Took me near 15 weeks to get all THC out of my body. I bought self tests (urine) to check myself in case I needed to pee in a jar for court. Never got to that, but been 'clean' ever since and I don't miss it. I can easily be next to people smoking weed and have zero urge. Few months later I also managed to quit with regular smoking. Leaving those things, a borderline (diagnosed by doctor not my opinion) ex wife and having my daughter 50% of the time, made me a new man. A happy one.
This is, frankly, a damning indictment of our current approach to legalization.