He lost a job for sharing a private joke with a friend in a public setting. Who hasn't done that? He then apologized and wished the one who made his joke public well. His line of work is, at the core, developing software.

She lost her job for tattling on a private joke shared with a friend that she overheard. She then tried to get the claim that she cost someone a job taken down, blamed the victim for his own problems, and blamed the victim for her problems. She is also quoted being quite racist and sexist. She may also have used her PR position to cause much of this (I've heard but have not seen conclusion evidence that the account she used was officially associated with her company.) Her line of work is, at the core, PR.

That one was hired and the other wasn't should not be a surprise.

> No, she doesn't look empathetic, but, considering the broader context, how much empathy can you reasonably expect?

Lots. The "broader context" is that people who aren't Hank harassed her. As a result, she suggests that Hank organized that harassment.

i.e. she isn't sympathetic to Hank because of a ridiculous excuse she invented.

I understand you want to have sympathy for a victim. Fine. Sympathize with Adria for the abuse she got. But also point out that her lack of empathy for Hank is itself a red flag.

But why not expect empathy? Hank has empathy for Adria, saying she didn't deserve what she got. It doesn't look like Hank was the one who instigated all the death threats and abuse, so why not feel empathy towards him for losing his job?

That, and her own childhood. We tend to relativize bad things in terms of what we've experienced ourselves. If I had seen my father beat the teeth out of my mothers mouth with a hammer I'm not so sure I'd be up in arms about somebody losing their job...

So you're saying that you'd be irreparably damaged for life? Overcoming those past experiences means understanding that they were aberrations.

That depends. If you think that somebody who feels limited empathy with someone who lost their job (and quickly got another one) is "irreparably damaged for life", then perhaps yes.

But you could think of it in the opposite way as well: Perhaps our empathy should be directed more towards those that have it toughest in life, and less towards those with whom we can easily identify? In that case I'd say it's the 4chan guys that are "irreparably damaged", and the HN crowd obsessed with Hank's restitution... well, "damaged" but perhaps not "irreparably". ;)

She has a job, and still very active in the tech community.

I would hope that she would use the time for some introspection, and correct her racist attitude. Then she might find it easier to get a job.