Follow these 3 steps and you will probably be fine:

- Be responsive to your SO while programming. Whenever she asks something or comes up with a topic to discuss, do not give short answers - instead give a short break, hibernate the universe that you are in while coding for a while and talk to her. When you feel that she got satisfied with your speech/action/response and got what she wants, get back to work again.

- Choose one of the days at the weekend and do not code that day. You can still think about the problem you were struggling with the other day or the next feature you would like to implement and take little notes about them. But do not code. This will boost your productivity too.

- Divide your time for coding into reasonable time frames (e.g. 1 hour) that you believe you will be productive. And give at least 15-20 mins break between each time frame. The key point is that go and talk to your SO during these breaks and do not ever think about the last problem you were struggling with. Really, with all your mind, be with her.

I believe that the root of the problem is a coding zombie that just eats, goes to toilet and codes all the time.

My current SO and I have been together/married since 2007. She understands how much of a geek I am. She understands sometimes I have to think about every outcome. She encourages me to get up and work if I am "restless in bed".

I am currently writing a video game for IOS and Wii U and spending a lot of time doing it. We call them "admin weekends". We both sit at the kitchen table and work on our goals. Mine is the game. Hers is a Wordpress blog and vegan cooking. We take breaks together. Dinner, maybe a movie and then back to it. I also involve her in my game. Ask her to play it. Tell me how it feels. Ask her opinion about features, UI, etc.

This is all well and good, but.....

If she asks for my time in anyway, I give it to her. She sees I am devoted to her needs and in return, she doesn't ask me all day for things. If she says "I need to go out to dinner". I am dressed, keys and debit card in had.

I'd like to say all adult relationships are a little rocky from time to time, but I'll limit myself to saying that I am not surprised when anyone's is.

Sometimes long work hours are the cause of problems. Other times problems are the cause of long work hours. And sometimes long work hours are just the result of being busy and the relationship is smooth.

What matters is that I try to stop and remember that my SO is significant and let them know that I have remembered that they are significant. The hard part is that doing that when I am pulling the all nighter and pissed off that my SO is pissed off about it and in my opinion shouldn't be. In other words, I have to stop and decide what is really important even when I don't want to.

The good news is that if you stick around long enough, over time it all evens out.

Good luck.