I see your point, but different sides of the communication need to hear different things to make things better. Whatever side you're on, you can only change what you do, not what other people do. He's talking to the "tellers" in this case, based on his experience as a recipient, telling them what works.

I totally agree with you on the stupid false dichotomy that comes up in all these discussions. It's difficult but possible to get your point across efficiently without being rude. If people think you're being rude, well, sometimes that's a listener problem and there's nothing you can do about it.