Probably the most secure client system you can get these days. The purpose of the laptop is to ssh.

ChromeOS is more than enough for lots of roles. Even for devs (backend, web and android etc) it should be good enough if you have good enough CPU, RAM and storage.

Sure and water is enough for hydration so their cafeteria has no actual coffee or what.

If you'd force me (a dev used to work on a blazingly fast Linux machine) to use this I'd just be inclined to look for a job elsewhere. Not sure if that was in your interest as a corp.

Do you not consider a Chromebook to be a type of laptop? Is that because of the form factor or the OS?