Sounds like you're going to be in the business of fielding unpopular opinions for quite some time. I'm shocked that someone would shake their fist at the person developing code that you can go download right now[0] and not the business that prevents your phone from using it. If this is your sincere opinion, you either misunderstand the situation or expect to have your cake and eat it too.
What you're saying is that you are not interested in solving what you describe as "The key problem with iOS app distribution".
I am not claiming Android is perfect in any way; I don't think a truly good usable mobile option exists. I will claim that the differences in quality are minor in comparison to the problematic level of control Apple exercises over iOS.
