I like to spend as much time as I can with my wife and kids. When we vacation we get to spend lots of time away from home (7+ weeks sometimes).
When they are in school I study (Korean these days) or build stuff for the fun of it. I'm not really social or anything. I simply like being home and doing the same things that got me FIRE'd to begin with.
I don't have any friction with random people, but I have felt some... resentment/spite/jealousy from friends. I don't know the cause or origins of it.
I noticed them speaking to me less and eventually they stopped messaging me at all. If I messaged them they would respond but would never hold a conversation. I tried for a while and then let them go.
I've had another friend I lost touch with suddenly "reconnect" with me post-FIRE only because he wanted to leverage my network/clout/whatever. So, yeah... I've had to deal with that too.
Yeah, the 'spite' is 100% there. Have a job desc, even if it's just "freelancing", "business" or "research".
Well, only some part of it is spite. I think many people associate jobs with identity, so not having a job is like not having a name. Batman has an alter ego for a reason. He can't just meet family and friends as Batman.
I travel on the cheap (2-3 months per year), volunteer at a museum a few times per month, spend gobs of time with my spouse, and work on various artistic/craft projects.
Friendships have been challenging. I have less in common with people my age now. Long time friends are still friends. Coworker-friends drift away once you realize they weren't really friends at all, just colleagues.
No real friction except with super spendy friends (who are still climbing the ladder I jumped off of) who want to make spendy plans. No, we aren't going to drop 10k on a Greek Villa this summer. They have limited time and lots of money, for me, the opposite.
I don't miss work. At all. And I was passionate about it while I was in. Life has its seasons.
Worries in FIRE are mostly related to inflation. Healthcare costs have skyrocketed, and so has the cost of food. We planned a generous buffer and are fine, but the trend line is a bit concerning.
Time: Coding, taking walks, reading, hanging with friends
Friction: Not that I can see. My lifestyle hasn't changed.
Miss work: Nope. I keep in touch with the coworkers I liked to socialize with. I can do the best part of work -- making things -- without the worst part: meetings, perf reviews, political BS, etc.
If you are a creative person, it's the best. Become your own patron.
Note: People who are "doing FIRE right" spend less time online so you won't see their replies. I specifically made an effort to comment on this, if it helps motivate you to pursue it. Best thing I've done for myself.
I'm on the glidepath now and have moved to working only 4 days per week.
My partner is on 5 days a week, so I'm a househusband on my "day off".
The main friction seems to be with me. I always attempt to spend the long weekend doing hobbies and having fun, but more often than not I end up doing a bit of consulting for old and new clients.
I'd say the difference is that all work is a commitment. Even free work. Just because you can break the contract any time you like, it doesn't make you free from the restrictions of it.
Hobbies are play, but play is a simulation of some other thing. If you're crafting something but not selling the crafts, you'll hit a point where you question your ability with it.
Tournaments are a nice hack around that, and usually what the financially independent have historically done. You compete for a prize. The prize closes the hobby loop.
But once you start doing tournaments, that draws you back into commitments.
A bit of advice if you are aiming for FIRE: Don't buy Starbucks, buy instant coffee you make yourself, and stop buying stupid avocado on toast at cafes, and a whole laundry list of other luxury items. Basically you should refrain from buying any luxury item unless it's a treat and you set aside time and money for treats, not have treats and luxury purchases all the time. FIRE people need to exercise incredible restraint on their purchases, then that money that was saved can be pooled into your retirement fund. It's hard, I know, but that's life!
This is odd advice to me. Sure, you can save money by not buying the coffee, dining out but that money would never have you FIRE'd in any reasonable amount of time (certainly never would have worked for me).
The only way I got FIRE'd was by building a successful business as a solo person. I can't imagine doing it any other way...
I did it by making a lot of money, compared to how much I was (and am) spending. Not splashing money around on lattes, expensive car, expensive vacation, a summer house etc. was a vital part of that.
Saving on all of that person year is like 2k bucks max. That's a drop in the bucket. Plus then you come off as a weird cheapo, no? All so that you can sit around and do nothing while retired. Which sounds boring and probably bad for your mental health.
Very easy - just don’t do it. Was never a problem for me. If I ordered food, it was because I didn’t have time to cook, not because I needed it to wind down etc.
I don't agree with the whole skimping-on-small-things thing, but I work at home and don't eat out that much. The "how" seems pretty straightforward: either buy groceries at a grocery store or have them delivered. I have a fresh vegetable box delivered every week. "Getting out" and "winding down" don't require eating out.
I stopped eating out completely and stopped ordering food in. Bought a freeze and canner and meals are quick and cheap to make with better flavour. I stopped getting sick.. think back to all of the times you got really sick from food. I bet you most of them were from food you didn't prepare yourself.
When they are in school I study (Korean these days) or build stuff for the fun of it. I'm not really social or anything. I simply like being home and doing the same things that got me FIRE'd to begin with.
I don't have any friction with random people, but I have felt some... resentment/spite/jealousy from friends. I don't know the cause or origins of it.
I noticed them speaking to me less and eventually they stopped messaging me at all. If I messaged them they would respond but would never hold a conversation. I tried for a while and then let them go.
I've had another friend I lost touch with suddenly "reconnect" with me post-FIRE only because he wanted to leverage my network/clout/whatever. So, yeah... I've had to deal with that too.