I agree with some of that criticism (although I haven't had issues with having to manually delete files - if you do, I suspect it's a project that hasn't been set up with a proper maven/gradle setup but where all the build info is in some IDE config. that's an antipattern at this point but used to be very common).
But I don't think it's necessarily about the tooling.
Everything is in Maven and works fine in CI, which definitely does not use idea. But in some situations Idea believes the pom isn't as fresh as its rendition, unfortunately. I can live with some caching, but everytime that happens and the "clean cache" option doesn't work, I weep.
But I don't think it's necessarily about the tooling.
And yes, Hibernate is just horrible.