I would say the same for myself. It doesn't interfere with my work performance, and I tell myself it's better than if I were drinking or whatever, but it has definitely become a compulsion and I basically can't regulate my usage if I have it available in the house. Lately I've gotten a little timed lock box to force myself to take breaks which I'm kind of ashamed to have to resort to, but it's helping me keep a better balance.
I will also say - and maybe this is more self-justification - but while I definitely cannot really do focused productive software work while stoned, I really do think that it puts me in a more creative mind-space and helps me see alternatives I wouldn't otherwise. I often go for a long hike after work and get stoned and stumble upon an approach to a work or life problem that's bouncing around in my head that I would not have otherwise.
>... but it has definitely become a compulsion and I basically can't regulate my usage if I have it available in the house.
I just replied to the OP myself, but I can definitely agree with this. When I first quit earlier in the year, I noticed that I'd be sitting on the couch watching TV or chatting with my wife in the evening, and I'd have this innate urge to get up, go to the garage and go smoke. It didn't even feel like I was consciously thinking I needed to get high, it had just become such a habit to do that in those moments. I had to re-train myself to ask, "Okay, why?" before actually doing it, and more often than not I couldn't justify the actual act of getting stoned in that moment beyond, "Well... to just be stoned," and that didn't seem like a good enough excuse to me, making it quite easy to fight the urge.
> I noticed that I'd be sitting on the couch watching TV or chatting with my wife in the evening, and I'd have this innate urge to get up, go to the garage and go smoke
One of the longer lasting effects of quitting tobacco was the urge at random times to get up and go outside. I knew I didn't smoke any more, I wasn't craving a cigarette, but it had been part of my behaviour for so long, that I just get up and go outside sometimes, that it lingered as a sort of tic for a while.
Having a compulsion to go and stand outside your back door for five minutes randomly in the middle of doing something else is not 'natural', no, it's a learned behaviour from smoking.
Yes, we should all get fresh air and sunlight. No we don't need to pause the tv show and head outside for no reason at 9pm when it's dark and cold.
I found that with the pens/oil I have no self restraint. It's just too convenient and easy to take a quick puff anytime I would feel stressed, bored, etc. Whenever I get an oil cartridge I smoke it every day until it's gone.
Lately I switched to gummies only. It helps because I need to be more deliberate. For me they take an hour to kick in and last a few hours after that, so I know I'm making a conscience choice of whether or not I want to be stoned for the next few hour.
This is not necessary a rebuttal, but I definitely have the same experience with coming up with creative ideas when I go walking or hiking without weed. I think walking is a great way to get your subconscious working effectively on something.
It can be programmed to remain locked for anywhere from minutes to many months. There’s no override code. The only way to open it once locked is to take a hammer to it (according to the instructions, haven’t verified!).
I will also say - and maybe this is more self-justification - but while I definitely cannot really do focused productive software work while stoned, I really do think that it puts me in a more creative mind-space and helps me see alternatives I wouldn't otherwise. I often go for a long hike after work and get stoned and stumble upon an approach to a work or life problem that's bouncing around in my head that I would not have otherwise.