This is what is me as I head into my 50’s. I always knew it was BS, but now I can’t ignore it any more. Corporate culture garbage drives me absolutely to depression now, and I can’t force myself to care any more. I love teaching and mentoring and leading and programming and all those skills. But I can’t muster up to energy to give a crap about anything other than the work itself, the team, the product, etc. I more clearly see the processes that are set up simply to look busy, and I can’t force myself to participate. It’s telling me at some core level it’s time to strike out on my own. But, once you’ve seen the fnords, you can’t unsee them.
I quit my job at a Silicon Valley BigCorp two years ago, almost to the day, for these very reasons. Luckily, we are in a position where I could just do what I wanted during this time, mainly go rockclimbing and help my wife in our worryingly enormous garden. But I miss certain things, like being in the room (whether physically or virtually) with a bunch of smart people and solving problems. And of course I miss the money. But I'm just not sure I can take the BS anymore.
I’m working on building my own quant/stat arb/HFT trading fund with a few folks from my career as partners, self financed. I think that’s the out. I love what I do but investors, customers, hierarchy, and the band wagon that follows I think is the genesis of a lot of the BS.
