One can be successful and happy, as far as others are concerned, and still have a screwed up reward system.

Actually, having a screwed up reward system can promote success, as one often goes to enormous lengths to prove to oneself that one isn’t a worthless piece of shit, which is often the upshot of anhedonia.

> one often goes to enormous lengths to prove to oneself that one isn’t a worthless piece of shit, which is often the upshot of anhedonia.

Alas, it is an endless run. In the end, I'll always think that I am a worthless piece of shit.

The fate of every human being is the same, not to live any longer when the final comes through. But until that magical moment, we can see our lives through a more poetical and beautiful light.I feel there is greatness in the freedom of choosing to be just happy or to suffer a tragic life.

I am generally happy and successful. However, my childhood was filled to the gills with trauma. So much so I visited a therapist and they immediately identified it.

It emerges as rampant pessimism and distrust of anyone and everyone. It's highly beneficial in the corporate world but has irreparably damaged my ability to bond with people. Which leaves me at a impasse as to whether to solve it. Given my age it's not worth it as I am well beyond my years of socializing freely.

You are worth it. Your inner child is worth it as well. If you don't do it for yourself do it for them.