How do you communicate with them? I'd start there. Is it over IM, email or in person, zoom calls? I'd try to get off 'written' mediums and get on more personal medium.

If you are REALLY serious about fixing this, I recommend a book called "Non Violent Communication" https://www.amazon.ca/Nonviolent-Communication-Language-Life... Satya Nadella claims it was one of the reasons he was able to turn around Microsoft.

The way you express your needs may resonate better if you adopt