Screw vulnerability. Of course, I have problems like everyone else. But I have given each one a lot of thought and decided what's the best thing I can do right now, or that there is nothing further than I can do. I don't really need advice or practical help, it's a matter of me allocating my limited energy and willpower. On giving side, there is also so much I can offer to someone outside my immediate family. And the last thing I want to do is to pay MORE attention to downsides of my life by talking about them to others.
What I really wish I could have is camaraderie in personal growth, which for some reason seems to be impossible in Silicon Valley. For example, I have been taking photography classes, but when I ask other students if they want to go on a hike, shoot pictures together and improve our technique, nobody is ever interested. I can understand that women might think I am hitting on them, even after I mentioned I am married and have kids, but not even old guys? I don't know if it's something about my appearance or mannerisms or if people only live through organized events and have no interest in just hanging out with others based on mutual interests. Maybe they also outsource their vulnerabilities to professional therapy? :-)
Now of course nothing is black and white. Being able to give someone an unfiltered account of one's day is a testament of quality of the relationship and reassurance that if I faced a truly overwhelming disaster in future I might have some help handling it. But overall, I would rather expand my life than dwell on aspects of it that either can not be changed or are already being worked on.
What I really wish I could have is camaraderie in personal growth, which for some reason seems to be impossible in Silicon Valley. For example, I have been taking photography classes, but when I ask other students if they want to go on a hike, shoot pictures together and improve our technique, nobody is ever interested. I can understand that women might think I am hitting on them, even after I mentioned I am married and have kids, but not even old guys? I don't know if it's something about my appearance or mannerisms or if people only live through organized events and have no interest in just hanging out with others based on mutual interests. Maybe they also outsource their vulnerabilities to professional therapy? :-)
Now of course nothing is black and white. Being able to give someone an unfiltered account of one's day is a testament of quality of the relationship and reassurance that if I faced a truly overwhelming disaster in future I might have some help handling it. But overall, I would rather expand my life than dwell on aspects of it that either can not be changed or are already being worked on.