First of all, I wish you luck with your effort to have children.
It's almost a cliche at this point, but the prefrontal cortex isn't mature until between 25 and 30 on average.
"One key part of that trajectory is the development of the prefrontal cortex, a significant part of the brain, in terms of social interactions, that affects how we regulate emotions, control impulsive behavior, assess risk and make long-term plans. Also important are the brain’s reward systems, which are especially excitable during adolescence. But these parts of the brain don’t stop growing at age 18. In fact, research shows that it can take more than 25 years for them to reach maturity."
So, yes, teach your children how to avoid predators. That is excellent. But this is the last line of defense. Since children have major impulse control and emotional regulation deficits and the predators have a major asymmetrical advantage in behavioral engineering, it is overwhelmingly the job of the parents to the extent possible to just keep the predators away.
> "Internet is scary"
Damn right it is. Children are uniquely impressionable and imprintable for a long time. Seeing or being forced to do gnarly stuff at the wrong time is permanently disfiguring.
> Kids will find a way to hang out with their friends.
Yes, the traditional way that would happen is at someone's house. Together. In person. Which provides some level of protection against predation and a fuller/richer/healthier social experience. Where the venue is virtual those protections are lost and more vigilance is required.
> If you get in the way of it, you'll quickly find yourself on the losing end of a years-long battle.
There are wolves in the world. There always have been and always will be (as you say). It's a never ending and virtually thankless job (in fact, you will regularly be abused for doing it), but keeping the wolves at bay is parenting job #1. Get them to maturity whole, healthy, intact, and self-sufficient.
I'm not going to share experiences to the extent of the OP, but I have kids and I've met some wolves.
> It's almost a cliche at this point, but the prefrontal cortex isn't mature until between 25 and 30 on average.
It's ridiculously cliche and infantilizing. The brain continues to change through your entire lifetime. Not to take away from the rest of your post, which I broadly agree with.
There's a reason insurance companies charge substantially higher rates for coverage of drivers under 25, and it's not that they believed the first pop-science article they read.
> keeping the wolves at bay is parenting job #1. Get them to maturity whole, healthy, intact, and self-sufficient.
Keeping the wolves at bay is an impossible task. Reducing the exposure to the wolves, educating on recognizing the wolves, and mitigating the negative consequences of the wolves is a far more viable set of goals.
"Keeping the wolves at bay" means keeping them at a distance so they can't do damage; rather they can only bark and bay. That's not the same thing as reducing exposure to them; which implies they can still do damage, just not as much.
It's almost a cliche at this point, but the prefrontal cortex isn't mature until between 25 and 30 on average.
"One key part of that trajectory is the development of the prefrontal cortex, a significant part of the brain, in terms of social interactions, that affects how we regulate emotions, control impulsive behavior, assess risk and make long-term plans. Also important are the brain’s reward systems, which are especially excitable during adolescence. But these parts of the brain don’t stop growing at age 18. In fact, research shows that it can take more than 25 years for them to reach maturity."
So, yes, teach your children how to avoid predators. That is excellent. But this is the last line of defense. Since children have major impulse control and emotional regulation deficits and the predators have a major asymmetrical advantage in behavioral engineering, it is overwhelmingly the job of the parents to the extent possible to just keep the predators away.
> "Internet is scary"
Damn right it is. Children are uniquely impressionable and imprintable for a long time. Seeing or being forced to do gnarly stuff at the wrong time is permanently disfiguring.
> Kids will find a way to hang out with their friends.
Yes, the traditional way that would happen is at someone's house. Together. In person. Which provides some level of protection against predation and a fuller/richer/healthier social experience. Where the venue is virtual those protections are lost and more vigilance is required.
> If you get in the way of it, you'll quickly find yourself on the losing end of a years-long battle.
There are wolves in the world. There always have been and always will be (as you say). It's a never ending and virtually thankless job (in fact, you will regularly be abused for doing it), but keeping the wolves at bay is parenting job #1. Get them to maturity whole, healthy, intact, and self-sufficient.
I'm not going to share experiences to the extent of the OP, but I have kids and I've met some wolves.