You're forgetting the 6 trillion-dollar "IOU, I'm good for it, pinky swear" from Deadbeat Dave. I'm assuming that's what their commercial paper holdings resemble.

Pizza coupons, beer bottles that can be deposited for a refund in California

I've never thought of can and bottle deposits as cash equivalents, but it checks out. More trustworthy than a lot of corporate paper out there today.

I guess we have yet to find out if time ain’t Bitcoin.