I've always just been straight with my employers whenever it hasn't worked out and I've decided to move elsewhere. That's not to say that there isn't a need for finesse.
I actually ended up going back to one employer after a year or so, when it turned out that they recognised that my criticisms (primarily focused on unfeasible expectations w.r.t. work-life balance and pressure on teams to deliver) were valid and took major action to flip things around. Whether they recognised the validity of my criticisms because of what I said, or simply because of more people leaving, I cannot say. I don't remember any conspicuous absences of familiar faces when I returned, so I like to think that I was actually heard.
As with any form of diplomacy, there is an art to the delivery. If you're going in with criticism, do so with well-reasoned argument and reference to something provable or better yet numerically presentable, and point out how the criticisms negatively impact them as a business, rather than simply saying that you didn't like [x] or wouldn't have to do [y] at competitor company [A].
And for heaven's sake don't make it personal -- I mean, this isn't something I've done, but it seems pretty basic that getting personal is a no-no.
For example, if you're moving for a better salary, highlight the fact that they're lagging behind in industry sector [P], and as a result you won't be the only one leaving. If they want to retain talent, they must reimburse the talent competitively.
Contrary to the beliefs of some, managers are people, but they don't always think like people -- they're effectively paid to not think like people, but rather to think like a business, to embody the needs of the business.
As a result, human considerations can take a back seat, they can be reluctant to react to change especially where it involves spending money, and they can ignore facts because they haven't been the subject of a pie chart. Explain something the right way, however, and you can affect positive change.**
As others from the UK have said, references are immaterial. I've never had anyone check my references, and I know this because when I got started in software dev 10 years ago, my references were entirely fictional.
I actually ended up going back to one employer after a year or so, when it turned out that they recognised that my criticisms (primarily focused on unfeasible expectations w.r.t. work-life balance and pressure on teams to deliver) were valid and took major action to flip things around. Whether they recognised the validity of my criticisms because of what I said, or simply because of more people leaving, I cannot say. I don't remember any conspicuous absences of familiar faces when I returned, so I like to think that I was actually heard.
As with any form of diplomacy, there is an art to the delivery. If you're going in with criticism, do so with well-reasoned argument and reference to something provable or better yet numerically presentable, and point out how the criticisms negatively impact them as a business, rather than simply saying that you didn't like [x] or wouldn't have to do [y] at competitor company [A].
And for heaven's sake don't make it personal -- I mean, this isn't something I've done, but it seems pretty basic that getting personal is a no-no.
For example, if you're moving for a better salary, highlight the fact that they're lagging behind in industry sector [P], and as a result you won't be the only one leaving. If they want to retain talent, they must reimburse the talent competitively.
Contrary to the beliefs of some, managers are people, but they don't always think like people -- they're effectively paid to not think like people, but rather to think like a business, to embody the needs of the business.
As a result, human considerations can take a back seat, they can be reluctant to react to change especially where it involves spending money, and they can ignore facts because they haven't been the subject of a pie chart. Explain something the right way, however, and you can affect positive change.**
As others from the UK have said, references are immaterial. I've never had anyone check my references, and I know this because when I got started in software dev 10 years ago, my references were entirely fictional.
** sometimes