wanting to practice religion freely cannot be called "destructive" or "totalitarian". certainly no more than the blm riots in america. Those were certainly destructive and (imho)somewhat totalitarian in their desire to impose their agenda on everyone.
The way i see it you have 2 options; either acknowledge you are wrong that normal countries wouldn't call this out as such, or explain why the blm riots are quantifiably more significant then freedom of religion.
Practicing religion freely is OK. Forcing members of the community to practice religion is not OK. Children are denied access to education beyond religious. They are forbidden to study math, English, Hebrew, they don't have access to internet. They are denied access to justice system and law enforcement. Sometimes they are denied necessary medical attention because of religious beliefs of the adults (for example, relative of my colleague got his shoulders dislocated at age of 5, his uncle didn't allow to call for MADA until Shabbat is over, so he screamed for hours until evening).
the cognitive dissonance is dizzying! first of all your relative is a fool who was practicing ignorance, not religion. Moving on, your whole argument is based on the preconceived notion that secularism is correct which clouds your judgement. Teaching your child your religion is called "forcing them"; whereas depriving them of any intellectual tools to help them find meaning in their lives is ideal. On to your allegations; Their whole education system is dependent on them knowing hebrew so i don't know what you meant by that. As for being deprived of internet; so what? Internet isn't a human right. Not allowed to learn english? Are you angry at your parents for not teaching you spanish? i can't actually find anything argument you make that isn't bs and factually incorrect. Anecdotal evidence non withstanding.
I would say, less than 80 years old. In most normal countries this kind of behavior would be called "destructive totalitarian sect".