Sorry to hear you’re going through such a tough time right now. Was there myself back a couple of years ago, down to the two kids. I have also played the merry go round of trying different medications and even different diagnoses. Took 3 years of trial and error to find the right meds and the right diagnosis.
First, I will echo what the other poster said - work with your doctor. Everyone is different and reacts differently to medication.
I can only speak from personal experience, but be very careful with Vyvanse. In the beginning, the effects were wonderful. Increased motivation, focus, etc. however, after about a year the effects began to wear off and my dosage was titrated really high (120 mg per day). Even at that dosage, I could barely get out of bed sometimes. I also began having panic attacks and severe paranoia. As another poster described, when it wore off, I had some of the most sad periods to where I’d sit there and cry for no reason. It was like staring up a deep dark well with little to no light.
I had life stuff going on, so reactions weren't completely unwarranted, but they were unnecessarily amplified. I’m not a doctor, but I felt like covers up depression and kicks the can down the road. Sometimes it gives people the motivation to change their circumstances, thus improving their depression. But, in many cases, it drives people to chase the high in order to keep staving off the lows. I don’t mean the euphoric high, I mean the motivation/focus high.
Listening to your post, and please don’t take this the wrong way, but it sounds like you are chasing the high without addressing the low. If you are taking a benzodiazepine for anxiety, it may be worth trying a different medication since those can make anyone groggy (with or without stimulants).
For me, it didn’t end well and I had to stop taking Vyvanse cold turkey (whew that sucked). It took a couple of years, but life turned out so much better for me once I addressed the anxiety and depression (or in my case, bipolar depression). I also take stimulants again, without any issues.
First, I will echo what the other poster said - work with your doctor. Everyone is different and reacts differently to medication.
I can only speak from personal experience, but be very careful with Vyvanse. In the beginning, the effects were wonderful. Increased motivation, focus, etc. however, after about a year the effects began to wear off and my dosage was titrated really high (120 mg per day). Even at that dosage, I could barely get out of bed sometimes. I also began having panic attacks and severe paranoia. As another poster described, when it wore off, I had some of the most sad periods to where I’d sit there and cry for no reason. It was like staring up a deep dark well with little to no light.
I had life stuff going on, so reactions weren't completely unwarranted, but they were unnecessarily amplified. I’m not a doctor, but I felt like covers up depression and kicks the can down the road. Sometimes it gives people the motivation to change their circumstances, thus improving their depression. But, in many cases, it drives people to chase the high in order to keep staving off the lows. I don’t mean the euphoric high, I mean the motivation/focus high.
Listening to your post, and please don’t take this the wrong way, but it sounds like you are chasing the high without addressing the low. If you are taking a benzodiazepine for anxiety, it may be worth trying a different medication since those can make anyone groggy (with or without stimulants).
For me, it didn’t end well and I had to stop taking Vyvanse cold turkey (whew that sucked). It took a couple of years, but life turned out so much better for me once I addressed the anxiety and depression (or in my case, bipolar depression). I also take stimulants again, without any issues.