I would far, far beyond gladly change far more than my clothes for anyone who would even finally show up to a first date with me. More and more of us are isolated from the rest of our species by the technologies interting themselves between us to create billionaires that we don't even have a friend that we could tell that we finally got to go on a first date. How could you tell me to break up with a human like this if I ever was so blessed?
Does this change of perspective mean anything or help at all to anyone?
I've been crying all night, almost every night for about 3 weeks now, sleeping 0 to 3 hours a night, because Google's Recapcha service a few weeks ago, for no apparent, communicated, or appealable reason decided to reject all of my captcha answers no matter how accurate they may be. This means I have been sent out to an internet leper colony so hideously lonely that I can no longer even post on 4chan or talk on Omegle.
And you would tell this person to dumpster a real life in-person human being because she was worried she'd wind up as defenseless and alone as me.
...relationships have to get way more actually abusive to be worse than no relationship at all, which is the threat we frankly all face.
Hey just saying as someone who has been in a relationship and then been alone for a long time, there's no magic cure-all involved in being with someone else. And on the flip side you can live a fulfilling and inspiring life by yourself. And if you can take the steps to improve your life and your mental health that in itself will make you more attractive to other people. I've been questioning a lot lately about how much effort to spend looking for dates or a relationship, and it seems like the less I worry about it the happier I feel.
Hey man. It's hard being an introvert but you sound pretty cool... Just try to talk to people in real life the way you can articulate yourself on Omegle. The trick is just finding a group that is as nerdy and introverted as you. I joined the chess club and it helps a lot. Everyone needs someone. For some people it takes a long time to make friends so you just need an activity where you see the same people everytime you go, like chess club or something. Try finding a local group that you're interested in the activity and you'll find friends. I can't help you with the girl advice though, same boat.
I absolutely hate that I'm giving this advice, but in a state of desperation you should be able to overcome the recapture exile by making a Google account, logging into gmail, using Chrome (logged in) and not using Tor or a VPN.
It's a terrible state of affairs that this might be what's required to access the fucking internet (@Google, @Cloudflare), but it's better than what it sounds like your alternative has become.
On a different note, here's what you might tell yourself if you were in a relaxed and emotionally healthy enough state to think clearly and positively (it's very hard like to think like this when you're deep in the mires of it all, but maybe it will help):
- if you're in a part of the world which allows it this time of year, get outside and get a little sun most days.
- find a hobby which needs to be done outside of the house. Even if you only like to read, do it outside where you will come into contact with other people outside of a work environment. Then work up to other hobbies which can be done either individually or socially (indoor rock climbing, learning a language, music, cycling, lifting weights, whatever).
- get and appreciate some little wins in your hobbies and reconnect that pathway which says that if you work at something you can achieve it, that you can enjoy yourself and that you're a normal human.
- go to places regularly and smile and nod at the people who you recognise. If you like music, go to gigs or places where people with similar tastes tend to be.
- start face to face conversations with people with no expectations for where it will go, even if it's ordering a coffee or commenting on the weather. Ideally, look for something (non-sexual) which you appreciate about someone and casually let them know. Maybe aim for doing this once per day. Start conversations with "wow, I wish I could do that/that looks like so much fun. How did you get started?"
- when you get talking to people, mention any interests which come up which you also share (or might share, if you explored it). Mention any hurdles you've had in pursuing them and that you'd like to find a way to overcome them. If they extend an offer to help (by offering to let you know the next time they're doing it, for example), take the chance to exchange details.
- follow up with people, if you feel like it makes sense. A lot of "ohh for sure, we should definitely do something!" talk happens, particularly when alcohol is involved, but you can break through that (or see it for what it is) with a follow-up message some time later. Don't be needy, but you're basically just letting them know that you meant what you said about wanting to hang out.
- find some friends this way before you let yourself start thinking about a relationship. Relationships are messy and it helps to have friends who can help you ride out the lows, and, as you mentioned, share the highs.
The thing is, being social and having a social life both take work and can be forgotten, just like any other skill. Despite the dystopia which we can be mistaken in believing when we look at the state of social media and the internet, the real world is still out there to be a part of, more or less just like it was before.
This varies a lot depending on where you are, but in general people are looking to get through their day as positively as possible and if they can make a new friend and it feels natural enough then they would generally like to.
Does this change of perspective mean anything or help at all to anyone?
I've been crying all night, almost every night for about 3 weeks now, sleeping 0 to 3 hours a night, because Google's Recapcha service a few weeks ago, for no apparent, communicated, or appealable reason decided to reject all of my captcha answers no matter how accurate they may be. This means I have been sent out to an internet leper colony so hideously lonely that I can no longer even post on 4chan or talk on Omegle.
And you would tell this person to dumpster a real life in-person human being because she was worried she'd wind up as defenseless and alone as me.
...relationships have to get way more actually abusive to be worse than no relationship at all, which is the threat we frankly all face.
Help please