It's happening right now, for me. Burnout feels like having no purchase on life, nothing making sense, no creativity, no joy, just fleeting comforts amid growing and deepening discomfort.
The way I see it, this kind of tiredness can't be met by a good night's sleep. It's a tiredness of the soul.
Sadly, what I have found is that to cope with the tiredness, boredom, stress and loneliness of my 'successful' life, I have turned time and time again to pornography. My use has spiralled and includes really quite violent, and in some cases illegal, stuff. And I have hated myself for it. I don't even enjoy it.
The problem is that the porn addiction itself exacerbated and accelerated the burnout process, and further isolated me.
Now I have decided to take some time out, with friends and well away from any internet connection, to break the cycle and re-sensitize myself. I need to breathe and feel my body again and feel connected to life and other people. In a few days I will be away from the Internet in a beautiful place in nature with good, supportive people to be with me.
And for the first time, I intend to be open and share this struggle and let them know really how dark it has gotten in here.
I'm glad you're opening up about what you're going through. It doesn't fix everything overnight, but it is the first major step on the road to recovery. Digital detox definitely sounds like a good idea, especially as it'll help you to break your porn habits.
To be honest, the way you describe your burnout seems very close to depression. I'd echo what simbyotic has suggested, in that it's good to reach out for professional help. Support from family and friends is invaluable, but a therapist you feel comfortable with may help you connect the dots in a more complete way.
I hope you find the digital detox gives you a fresh perspective on how your life can move forward, and helps you start healthier habits. We may not know each other, but I felt empathy reading your story, and I wish you the best of luck with the next chapter.
The way I see it, this kind of tiredness can't be met by a good night's sleep. It's a tiredness of the soul.
Sadly, what I have found is that to cope with the tiredness, boredom, stress and loneliness of my 'successful' life, I have turned time and time again to pornography. My use has spiralled and includes really quite violent, and in some cases illegal, stuff. And I have hated myself for it. I don't even enjoy it.
The problem is that the porn addiction itself exacerbated and accelerated the burnout process, and further isolated me.
Now I have decided to take some time out, with friends and well away from any internet connection, to break the cycle and re-sensitize myself. I need to breathe and feel my body again and feel connected to life and other people. In a few days I will be away from the Internet in a beautiful place in nature with good, supportive people to be with me.
And for the first time, I intend to be open and share this struggle and let them know really how dark it has gotten in here.