Hmm, I've a deja-vu... My mind tells me I've read these three comments before on a different topic... If I don't forget, I'll have to check tomorrow on a real PC.
Hmm this doesn't sound like what I experienced a professor doing... But this probably depends on the location and the discipline... Or well at least here in Germany you can more or less pick what you want to do: more being a people / project manager or more own research, or a mix of that... The uncertainty/low chances of getting a tenured position are not different though... And though it might suck, this is something you know, at the latest, after your PhD.
Hmm... You might be able to build one out of a remarkable [1], as that runs linux, has support for external keyboard and might only be lacking in the battery life department, when actively used.
Wouldn’t a simple hack to SSH into something else (maybe over a VPN for consistency) suffice here? There looks to be a keyboard accessory available to get you damn close to what your parent wants.
I wanted to recommend Minisforum, as I have a um560, that is powered through usb-c. But that is not available anymore... So those kind of machines exist...
You could get a frame.work laptop in an external case, slightly larger than hand-sized, though.
In addition to minisforum, there is mele. Mele makes celeron based usb c powered mini pcs. Quite compact. Serves as a good thin client. And lightweight business pc.
Ideas are circulating in my head for a custom solution.
[1] https://ramalama.ai/