> there’s only so many times you are willing to let a human wrecking ball into your life.
I understand this deeply. On the other hand, I do believe that community is essential for a good life (for 99%+ of people). It's a struggle for me, as I want community, but I've had many wrecking balls and anchors (and been them), and so I tend to be defensive.
> Other people [...] are generally emotionally messy, unwilling to tolerate people with radically different views/values, and either intellectually lacking or overly predictable in their interests.
I also feel this. But I suspect a large part of this is that defensiveness, people are meant to live in harmony with those (fairly) different from them. But especially with regard to differing values, sometimes it feels like no one around you shares the same framework. I think that's one reason people move to new places.
Youtube can be excellent for explanations. A picture's worth a thousand words, and you can fit a lot of decent pictures in a 20 minute video. The signal-to-noise can be high, of course.
Unfortunately even the videos that do contain helpful imagery are still dominated by huge sections of low entropy.
For example, one of the most useful applications of video over text is appliance or automotive repair, but the ideal format would be an article interspersed with short video sections, not a video with a talking head and some ~static shaky cam taking up most of the time as the individual drones on about mostly unrelated topics or unimportant details yet you can’t skip past it in case there is something actually pertinent covered in that time.
Ay, there's the rub. Professional video makes tend to be pushed into making videos for a more general audience, and niche topics are left to first-timers who haven't developed video-making skills and (tend to) go on and on.
I've produced a few videos, and I was shocked at how difficult it was to be clear. I have the same problem with writing, but at least it's restricted in a way video making isn't. There's so many ways to make a video about something, and most of them are wrong!
I think there's some good advice on this thread. Your issue definitely resonates with me, college was very lonely for me as well. HN itself doesn't lend itself to continued conversation (long threads lose their [reply] button and repeated postings from new accounts can turn automatically comments [dead], as in your case). You don't have an email posted, but you can –if you want– message mine. Just say "From HN", or whatever! I (internet rando) would like to talk to you.
I've had some success with Meetup (tech meetups specifically). The app/site is terrible though and I think the fees on organizers can be hefty nowadays, so look on the Meetup alternatives, since there might be groups posted to those too.
DoD is an interesting design philosophy used in game engine design. This book was both quite concrete and quite abstract, so I walked away not exactly sure if I got the message, but the idea of modelling data closer to a SQL database for performance is interesting.
[Never Split the Difference – Chris Voss]
Nightly audiobook. There's a lot more information than it seems on first reading, I'm trying to internalize and practice it in daily life.
[Lost Connections – Johann Hari]
A book about depression, connection, and medication. It was quite good, though I learned later that the author has quite a bit of controversy.
[The Twentysomething Treatment – Meg Jay]
The book was good, her interviews on people's podcasts are even better.
[You Can't Win – Jack Black]
Awesome HN recommendation, an autobiography of an early 1900s criminal.
[The Starship and the Canoe – Kenneth Brower]
Another HN recommendation. A snapshot of the life of Freeman Dyson of project ORION and his son George, who built a giant fiberglass canoe and paddles the west coast of Canada and the States.
I used to use these and a big table to simulate Stalingrad and other WWII battles. Popsicle sticks laid together as half-destroyed floorboards, and of course I had a lot of army guys to position around.
> While they admitted the dynamic had its difficulties, including battling Ronnie's gambling addiction for 20 years, they couldn't imagine their lives without him.
One unfortunate aspect about their relationship is that my uncle in law also likes to gamble - but in strict moderation.
However this means the two of them sometimes end up going to the casinos together. I don’t think these trips are helping this man’s gambling addiction.
That's one reason I don't like to drink. I can moderate myself (I don't like being inebriated at all), but some around me are active or recovering alcoholics. So why drink in front of them?
A recovering family member told me the location of every bottle of booze in the family home where we were, their type, and how full they were. In the fridge, the back of the cupboard, and in the basement under the laundry rack. Even though he'd stopped drinking! So, I don't even like keeping alcohol in the house anymore, especially if it's not locked up.
I swam a lot as a kid as my mother was a lifeguard and instructor. Despite that, I was never amazing at it, probably because I was lean and had no buoyancy, but I loved it a lot.
I swam for the first time in years a few months ago, and was surprised how exhausted I was after 30 minutes of treading water! I work out and go on frequent long runs, but I was totally spent from that. I too would love to get into it again, it's definitely a great exercise.
Haha yes. Well, I'm pretty sure most pro swimmers are very lean and muscular (ie. not buoyant), so that's not the whole story. I was decent enough at swimming but never great at floating.
I understand this deeply. On the other hand, I do believe that community is essential for a good life (for 99%+ of people). It's a struggle for me, as I want community, but I've had many wrecking balls and anchors (and been them), and so I tend to be defensive.
> Other people [...] are generally emotionally messy, unwilling to tolerate people with radically different views/values, and either intellectually lacking or overly predictable in their interests.
I also feel this. But I suspect a large part of this is that defensiveness, people are meant to live in harmony with those (fairly) different from them. But especially with regard to differing values, sometimes it feels like no one around you shares the same framework. I think that's one reason people move to new places.
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